Why anxiety and stress are not enemies, but essentional for personal development.
- frankmitteldorf
- Jul 24
- 5 min read
Updated: Jul 25
There is nothing we fear and suppress as much as our own anxiety. And yet, it is precisely this underestimated emotion that makes a decisive contribution to our personal development and self-unfolding. Without fear and stress, we would be far less able to comprehend the world and fulfill our place in it.
I was inspired to write this article by a book mentioned further below by the well-known brain researcher Gerald Hüther, which I came across quite by chance. His perspective on the benefits of anxiety and stress complements psychological insights and leads into something that I often explain to my clients in practice: namely, that anxiety and stress is an important life energy, where it is worth not pushing it away, but rather making friends with it. So that we can better understand anxiety and learn how to deal with it.
The evolutionary origin: How fear and stress ensured our survival.
In the history of evolution, the stress response developed as a vital emergency program. Early on in the animal kingdom, specialized nervous systems formed to coordinate internal and external signals. With the first vertebrates, this evolved into a biological alarm mechanism: in the presence of danger, the brain releases chemical messengers, and the adrenal glands produce stress hormones that allow the body to instantly mobilize its last reserves of strength—with the goal of holding its ground against predators or making a quick escape.
This principle applies to this day: under stress, the organism focuses purely on survival. Functions that are not immediately required—such as the immune system, reproduction, or regeneration processes—are temporarily shut down.
While this brings short-term salvation, it becomes problematic under continuous stress without recovery phases. It leads to exhaustion, psychosomatic complaints, psychological disorders, and ultimately to death. Nevertheless, this mechanism was and remains the driving force that keeps our brain capable of learning and allows us to adapt to changing environmental conditions.
What happens inside us when we no longer know what to do: Controllable vs. uncontrollable stress.
In our modern everyday life, we encounter two fundamentally different forms of stress response:
The controllable stress response: When we face an unexpected challenge—such as a demanding job interview where we are caught off guard—fear acts as an immediate warning signal, setting the familiar biological cascade in motion: adrenaline rushes in, the heart pounds, and our focus narrows.
Our brain races as it lightning-fast searches past experiences for proven tactics. Whether we defend ourselves, distract, or counteract: if we succeed in mastering the situation, the tension subsides. The reward system releases chemical messengers—we feel relief, self-efficacy, and confidence. The experience gained leaves us satisfied, perhaps even a bit proud, and boosts our self-confidence.
To ensure this experience is available to us later, these neural pathways are strengthened and stored in detail along with our emotional and physical perceptions.
The uncontrollable stress response: When previous coping strategies no longer work—for example, during a painful breakup, job loss, or long-lasting overload—the system tips over. The brain remains alarmed, yet despite intense mental loops, it finds no suitable answers.
The system switches to chronic stress and releases increased amounts of cortisol. Initial fear transforms into despair, powerlessness, and helplessness. Our previous worldview and trust in our own capabilities are severely shaken.
Yet precisely this state carries a hidden opportunity: it signals unmistakably that simply continuing as before is no longer possible and that deeper, new paths must be taken.
Why crises become more complex as we age – and how we grow through them.
In our younger years, crises usually relate to a few, clearly distinct areas of life. However, with growing life and professional experience, our challenges become much more multifaceted. We develop sophisticated strategies to succeed in everyday life and consolidate successful patterns of perception, thought, and action in the brain.
The downside: sometimes we feel too secure, overlook warning signals, and maneuver ourselves into a dead end—for instance, when a career leads to alienation from loved ones or when we ignore the body's warning signals for too long.
The more we rely on past success formulas, the harder the moment hits us when they fail. We then find ourselves completely unprepared in a crisis and no longer know what to do. What many find difficult now becomes a critical problem-solving skill: being able to accept help and realign one's life—or becoming chronically ill under continuous strain.
The adaptable brain: Neuroplasticity as the key to change.
Contrary to earlier assumptions, our brain remains capable of learning and changing well into old age. This is called neuroplasticity. As mentioned, mastering a controllable stress response alters the neural structure of the brain. However, from a biological perspective, the uncontrollable stress response accompanied by intense anxiety is actually one of the key prerequisites for true transformation:
The flood of stress hormones, particularly noradrenaline, destabilizes and dissolves firmly entrenched, but currently ineffective neural pathways. Only through this temporary disruption does the brain regain the freedom to let go of old behavioral patterns and adopt new, previously unused ways of thinking and problem-solving. Seemingly unsolvable problems put themselves into perspective or can suddenly be viewed from a completely new angle and tackled with new tactics.
Connectedness and compassion: The most effective antidote to fear.
As social beings, we are not designed to master crises in complete isolation. Even as infants, we experienced calmness and security through parental affection. Later, a loving look or an encouraging laugh was enough to make us feel safe while exploring the world—knowing that if something went wrong, we could return to a safe base.
In adulthood, too, the following applies: the feeling of security, love, compassion, and the knowledge of not being alone immediately slows down the hormonal stress response. A supportive and appreciative conversation with a trusted person fills us with courage and confidence and activates our self-healing powers.
Interestingly, human imagination is additionally capable of taking away our anxiety. For example, simply by knowing that an important reference person exists, thinks of us, and would be there if we reached out. Or by connecting with ourselves or something greater through rituals and meditative techniques.
However, it does not necessarily have to be a human being to dispel this uneasy feeling. A cat, a dog, or another pet can also give us what we need in the moment. Likewise, nature, a picture, or a song can deeply touch and nourish us in such moments. Moreover, more and more people are learning to converse with Artificial Intelligence to actively seek the care and attention that benefits them in the moment.
From biological emergency program to source of personal maturation.
Anxiety is not a flaw or a malfunction of our system, but a biologically evolved signal that invites us to grow beyond ourselves. Life rarely runs in a straight line; it repeatedly demands that we relinquish rigid patterns and make new adaptations. An eternal cycle of tension and relaxation aimed at helping us develop and unfold in all our complexity and wholeness.
When we learn not to fight our fears, but to understand our anxiety and mobilize and accept interpersonal or professional support early on, the stress response changes from a threatening vortex into a catalyst for a mature, grounded, and self-determined life.
Are you currently stuck in an emotionally burdensome situation or do you feel the need to break up fixed behavioral patterns?
In my Practice for Psychological Counseling in Zurich, I empathetically accompany you in using anxiety as valuable life energy and gaining new clarity. Feel free to reach out.
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